Loading card....

46 cards

Oh My God! My Mother Was Right About Eveything!It's so exhausting being fabulous
"And this is where I keep my ex-husband's body"Party ... Until he's cute
She Know Her Way Around Men GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES The intimate diary of a professional ladyWhen you meet a man you have to ask yourself if he's worth shaving your legs for.
Remember: The better you do, the more they expect.My wife says I never listen to her... at least that's what I think she said.
She just didn't know how to say no to a man. That's why she was ANYBODY'S GIRLI miss my ex... but my aim is getting better
So many men, so many reasons to sleep aloneAnything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening
"I child-proofed my house but they still get in."Instant idiot!... just add alcohol  Happy Birthday Jackie
Put the kettle on...I'm not a Bitch... I'm THE BITCH
Are you going to do as I say or will I have to crack the whipHappy Birthday Emily...  So many men... so few who can afford me
I KNOW THE SCORE MAXI TAUGHT MEN TO LOVE HER...DRESSED OR UNDRESSED!!Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my Mother after all.
I'm not staying here! There's no mini bar, spa or free toiletries!Don't look for me in the kitchen... that's not where I cook!
She will never know I was here!Caffeine first, Darling...Then we'll pretend to listen to eachother
I know you're excited...but do you mind, you're dribbling all over my dress!We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening
"My husband is either cheating on me or he's into cross dressing..."A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
"STRESSED" IS "DESSERTS" spelled backwardsThe best golfer has good drive and poor memory.
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHENRemember the toes you step on today are attached to the butts you may have to kiss tomorrow
I COULD WORK FASTER BUT WHY RISK CHIPPING A NAILMen are like coffee ... the best ones are rich warm and keep you up all night
Jesus is coming, Look BusyJohn...  A dirty mind is a wonderful thing
Queen of Fucking EverythingTempted
Trailer Park TrashDamn Right I'm good in bed Darling... I can sleep for days
Man BaitWith all my love
Eat your troubles awayAttack of the 50ft Woman
You mean shopping for more useless stuff isn't the meaning of life?I'm like you only better

Options